dangerous biscuits

Current work: revisions – and also off to do a radio session this morning
Listening to: Def Leppard (have I mentioned that I love Joe Elliott's voice? And he can play guitar and piano, too. Sighhh)
Reading: Given that my TBR pile is out of access, I amused myself last night by annoying DH. Big sigh from him. ‘Can’t you just read for a bit instead of annoying me?’ Evil grin from me. Hey, you’re the one who moved my books… (They are going to be restored this weekend, after painting. If he has any sense. And, as lovely Jenny Haddon gave me a couple of Heyer recommendations, I do have a couple of new ones to sneak in...)

Caught a press release yesterday that really made me smile - about dangerous biscuits (that’s biscuits as in UK, i.e. cookies rather than the US scone-type things).

The most dangerous, apparently, is the custard cream.

Apparently, doctors have to treat lots of biscuit-related injuries each year. (Righty. I can just see my editor’s face if I suggest this as a plot point. Ohh, lightbulb – now I have something to torment her about at the M&B party, next week! Last year it was reindeer. This year it will be custard creams. She’s going to love this.)

What kind of injuries? According to the study conducted by Mindlab, these include: people poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit (3%), falling off a chair while reaching for the tin (no figures given), sustaining burns after dunking a biscuit in scalding tea (33%), and being hit by fragments flying through the air. Others choked on crumbs (28%), 7% were bitten by a pet or ‘other wild animal’ trying to get their biscuit (oh? What sort of wild animal? The journo in me sees a photo opportunity, here), and 10% damaged a tooth or filling on a particularly hard biscuit.

And the best one? A man who ended up stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray biscuit. (How daft can you get? And wouldn’t said biscuit be inedible anyway because of the covering of concrete? Unless it was in a wrapper, but even so…)

If you want to read the full story, it’s here at the Telegraph. It’s the kind of story I would’ve loved working on, in my PR and journo days. Bit of an own goal, though, as it the survey was conducted on behalf of Rocky – and they’re #3 on the dangerous list. Unless it’s cool to be a dangerous biscuit?

Incidentally, I’m on the radio this morning – Tessa Shepperson, Sara Lock and I are taking over Graham and Karen’s breakfast show on BBC Radio Norfolk at 12. The idea is, instead of them interviewing us and asking our opinion on current news stories, we’re going to interview them. This is SO going to be one of my questions. (It’s utterly frivolous, but it really appeals to my sense of humour. Karen will love this, too. I'm going to have to nip into Marks and buy some biscuits before we start.)

So I’m asking you, too. Which is your favourite biscuit – and is it on the dangerous list, below?

The biscuits on the Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation list with their rating:

Custard Cream 5.64
Cookie 4.34
Choc Biscuit Bar (eg: Rocky) 4.12
Wafer 3.74
Rich Tea 3.45
Bourbon 3.44
Oat Biscuit 3.31
Digestive 3.14
Ginger Nut 2.99
Shortbread 2.90
Caramel Shortcake 2.76
Nice Biscuit 2.27
Iced Biscuits/Party Rings 2.16
Chocolate Finger 1.38
Jaffa Cakes 1.16