tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23204407.post2821466054765136669..comments2023-06-28T14:55:02.879+01:00Comments on Kate Hardy: running a bit lateKate Hardyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07367918727779245526noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23204407.post-18620265136185819462010-06-20T04:57:55.559+01:002010-06-20T04:57:55.559+01:00((HUGS)) Kate! I'm glad that you've still...((HUGS)) Kate! I'm glad that you've still found a way to smile :)Lacey Devlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05716109142743069204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23204407.post-70869661549948624982010-06-18T12:55:33.721+01:002010-06-18T12:55:33.721+01:00I can’t fix what’s upsetting him because it doesn’...<em>I can’t fix what’s upsetting him because it doesn’t actually exist </em><br /><br />I've found it helpful to assume that the feelings are real and caused by real concerns (maybe in the present, maybe from the past), even if the "facts" are a bit muddled. The real grief or fear or rage a person experiences but can't express (mustn't upset the kids, must stay strong, must be professional) might come out in disguise, as it were, when the situation allows.<br /><br />(I have a private theory that this is why people often get emotional when cared for. The setting is safe, and the responsibility to others has been lifted, so a lot of stuff comes out that hasn't been dealt with before.) <br /><br />That being so, all you can do is be there. Sometimes the best support is allowing a person to simply experience their feelings without trying to fix anything for them.<br /><br />It's horribly tough, though - especially when the person is someone who's been a rock to oneself. Like watching the ground under one's feet just crumble away.<br /><br />Sympathies.<br /><br />mpeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23204407.post-87393957426753538512010-06-18T09:24:39.014+01:002010-06-18T09:24:39.014+01:00Julie - thanks - and you always do :o)Julie - thanks - and you always do :o)Kate Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07367918727779245526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23204407.post-56768637175232335732010-06-18T09:24:10.610+01:002010-06-18T09:24:10.610+01:00Caroline - thanks, and forgot it was this week. Be...Caroline - thanks, and forgot it was this week. Being a full-time carer is hard (and, although it was a tough decision, the one for my dad to go to permanent residential care was the right one - my stepmum and I couldn't give him everything he needed, and at least now we know he gets the helps he needs, bless him).Kate Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07367918727779245526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23204407.post-78219102150203649972010-06-18T09:23:01.817+01:002010-06-18T09:23:01.817+01:00Anon - thanks, and hugs back to you. xxxAnon - thanks, and hugs back to you. xxxKate Hardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07367918727779245526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23204407.post-85502790735496255462010-06-17T21:06:41.695+01:002010-06-17T21:06:41.695+01:00((((hugs))))
I'm glad I could cheer up your d...((((hugs))))<br /><br />I'm glad I could cheer up your day a little.Julie Cohenhttp://www.julie-cohen.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23204407.post-80651474024476387812010-06-17T19:13:16.289+01:002010-06-17T19:13:16.289+01:00Hugs Kate. We all feel so helpless when our paren...Hugs Kate. We all feel so helpless when our parents' get older and we can't do anything to take away their pain! It's national carer's week this week - so hats off to all those who look after sick relatives. Caroline xCarolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00005714506570642538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23204407.post-90698937172032615462010-06-17T19:08:43.430+01:002010-06-17T19:08:43.430+01:00I am sad today too. I have aged parents --dad is ...I am sad today too. I have aged parents --dad is 92 and mom is 84. They live far away from me. Mom is having chest pains and dad is having breathing problems. Caring for aged parents is hard.. whether you live close or far. Kate the best present you give your dad is your time. nothing beats that. I talk to my parents everyday. I understand how you feel with your dad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com